Season of the Witch

a film by Dominic Sena

I really have no wish to jump on the already quite full bandwagon, and call Season of the Witch a terrible movie. Sure, it comes pretty much as close as a movie can come to such a (probably) well-deserved moniker as terrible movie (or for that matter, ridiculous movie, insipid movie, mind-numbingly bad movie etc. etc. etc. ad almost infinitum), and yes, everyone in the damned thing look almost as bored as everyone else in the theater, including Nic Cage, who is usually so over the top (which is how I prefer my Nic Cage) that his apparent boredom here is just that more noticeable in comparison - almost as if he is sulking around after being punished for not eating his brussels sprouts - and yes, the special effects are eye-gougingly pathetic (was there even a budget?) with their obvious lower rent computer graphics 101 look, and yes, the story, directing, acting and cinematography all deserve one sort of insulting personal attack or another (and trust me they deserve each and every one!), but none of these obvious failings make me wish to hop aboard that aforementioned bandwagon (getting fuller with each and every screening) and call Season of the Witch a terrible movie (or rotten or horrible or excruciating or any other synonym one can find in their thesauri). No siree, I most certainly do not want to do any of that. It would just be mean and hurtful and quite disparaging indeed, and trust me when I say the fine folks involved with the filming, production and distribution of this movie, from the lowliest Key Grip to the muckity-muckest Exec Producer, from Craft Services to Ron Freakin' Perlman, to the Teamster Rep to whomever "created" those "spectacular" F/X moments, do not deserve such critical ire tossed at them at a time like this. I mean really, they already have to deal with being involved in such a mind-numbingly awful movie experience like Season of the Witch. To do so would just be too cruel for words. Too cruel indeed. [01/14/11]